Empty

So I haven't wrote here in a while... and i'm not sure if you'll see this or not, but I will write this to you anyways. I apologize for some of the things I may say or do because I actually don't mean it. You can say i'm almost hurting you unintentionally but consciously. Maybe it's because I think it's what i'm supposed to do after we lost what we had. And don't get me wrong, I still long for it and I think about it everyday... I wonder if we will ever get back together again... or not. Regardless, since we made this decision, i've been trying my best to deal with it. I've actually been more focused since then just to get my mind off of it, but as cheesy as it sounds, I will always have room to think about you. This is probably one of the most complicated situations i've had to go through. We both still act like everything's back to "normal" when we both know it's not. But what else is there to do when my feeling's haven't changed.

BREAK PERCEPTIONS

This is five part series about the perspective of break dancing through five talented, inspirational individuals. I've been given the opportunity to practice and be a part of the same crew with these people who continue to motivate me as a dancer. Even if you are not a dancer, I advise you to check these videos out... I think they'll inspire you nonetheless. c:

Something different

Surprisingly I feel like I've had a pretty good start this year.. but lots of people say "I have a good feeling about this year" or "this year feels different". Every year I usually just expect the same things to happen so I don't usually say these things but y'know, I do have a good feeling about this year and it already feels different. I've come to the realization that i've been able to become a better person over the past couple years without even setting specific goals for myself (well, any major goals at that). Everything just happened unintentionally. Like who would've predicted at the end of 2010 that I would start breakdancing. I didn't even see that coming. I was as stiff as a tree. Literally. Anyways, maybe it's this very realization which makes this year feel so "different." Meh... who knows. I just hope I didn't jinx it, ha.

-c.a.

Update

I feel like going on for a while so let's see how long it lasts cause I usually suck at writing really long, interesting posts. Well anyways, a week already passed by since school. Just the thought of being back at school in a week gives me the shivers. Ugh, I didn't even look at any of the things I have to do. Since i'm on this topic I should just list the things right now: photography cubism assignment, colour pictures for art council (I don't even know why I have to do this btw), madd poster, fashion design drawing, design a flyer for uniteam jam, make business cards/brochures, and I feel like i'm missing stuff but I can't quite remember.

Surprisingly i've been quite busy in the past week. Mostly with the holiday stuff and buying presents for people even though I have no money. Well I just told myself I would start applying for the summer this year so I hope that actually pulls through cause... yea i'm broke. I barely even found the time to dance, although I did like two days ago. As for Christmas and stuff, I was able to get a nice gift for secret santa with my main friends. It makes me so happy when I give people something they like. Well who doesn't. I'm starting to expect less from Christmas each year that it's become pretty normal. I don't even know if that makes sense, whatever. But I did get a pretty sweet ipod dock from my sister! I used it once and it was amazing, I feel like I could dance 5verrr~ Technically I danced for 2 hours in my basement when I practiced 2 days ago, usually I would go for around an hour. I still feel like 2 hours is nothing compared to the number of days a week a normal bboy would practice for. This makes me feel so lousy but whatever. Anyways, where am I going with this... oh yeah. So today I bought my other present for secret santa with the yd group of friends. I honestly had no idea what to get my person cause I actually don't really know her that well. I ended up using the money my parents gave me for Christmas (which was $20 I was supposed buy slippers with lol) for her gift but it's all good. I like buying presents for people. Plus I only really use my money for food and fare. 

I also have to mention, my mom wrote my sisters and I some nice, cheesy cards for Christmas and I feel bad not writing a card back. I actually think my parents would really appreciate a card from me since I stopped making cards a long time ago and i'm not really an affectionate kinda person. My mom even pointed out that whenever I cry, I look like a statue with tears falling out of it. And it sucks how she's right... i'm just so emotion-less sometimes.

Yesterday I went to a potluck/dinner with uniteam! Most of us were there so it was pretty great. Although it didn't really feel like dinner... there was just some finger food and some open space to dance. Yeah we can't just chill together WITHOUT dancing, but I don't really mind. There were just so many deep fried food, covered in bacon, and deep fried food with bacon, and deep fried food, and bacon, deep fried, bacon AHHH. I'm not even sure if I liked it or not. I like bacon, but not really food wrapped in bacon, I just like it with my eggs maaan. Or we should have at least had rice... well there were mashed potatoes so I guess that makes up for it. Also got a chance to play with adrian's turntables! They're so sick omg makes me wanna get my own but too bad i'm broke. But one day.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my feelings as well. Actually I feel a bit uncomfortable talking about this but basically I have been over thinking a lot this past week. I guess it's best to keep distracting myself with all this stuff I have to do, sigh.

So this has been a really random and meaningless post so if you read this all, really, thanks for caring. YOU'RE GREAT AND U DESERVE A THUMBS UP (Y)

-c.a.

Animecon

Late upload, but here are the pics from the anime convention last week!

We's cute.

 Random kawaii girl and NO FACEEE

Cute Ash and PB and Marceline. Marceline is perf.

 Making dem kawaii trees.

 anfbfekraj Kirito-kun!!! Probably the only SAO cosplay there.

Julia drawing... ? We didn't know most of the animes aha.

Omg Sally is perf too. Awesome Kakashi but I don't really like him or Naruto very much -__-

 A female Dave photoshoot! Julia this is for you :D These are all the non-blurry pics. I would post my pics too but they're all blurry /:

 Julia's cousin Fausto as Jack Frost.

Christmas themed Kairi! Love her keyblade.

And some guy sleeping under one of the tables in the dealer's room lol

What made this day worth it was the fruit drop candy I bought based on Grave of the Fireflies. Omg I cry every time I eat it LOL probably the longest lasting candy i've bought. It's too precious to eat T__T